ROXIE: 6.5 out of 10.He would have the night off, right? Saving the jerseys? Nope, the first few minutes were dominated by the unwavering presence blocking their attempts to enter our box as the Celtic players were confused about the reason behind the referee’s whistle blowing after they had all lined up for the game to begin.Luckily for Joe, the remaining portion of the half became a simple math exercise while he attempted to remember how many times the net popped open on the opposite side. Since he is a goalkeeper, which is unfortunate, it makes sense that he was upset when their consolation goal was scored because he believed it to be an equalizer.
GREGGS THE BAKER: 7.5 out of 10.Matty was set up by Sunday’s flighted joy, and Greggs went one better, slotting away a goal of his own with the same casualness he typically displays when putting a try of sausage rolls in the oven. Then he grinned for real. Was there wind, or not?
Wayne Gertzky: 7.5 out of 10.The iceman’s rough and aggressive demeanor suggests he’s getting closer to the consistency of last season. Seems to transition smoothly into deft Ying, who unsettled their respectable EPL-level fullback by bursting past him at will and launching helpful, goal-scoring passes.
OF JUSTICE: 5.5 out of 10.A temporary respite via harm? Rocky is knocked down, but his sparring buddy gets back up and is ready for another fight. However, they continue to appear to be on the ropes with their sloppy passing and futile physical attacks; they have powder-puffed the ball for their stormtrooper’s disallowed goal. He needs to improve his skills to match the thorough defensive performances of autumn, otherwise he will continue to be our weak point.
GET CARTER: 6.5 out of 10.You flaming know it’s back. They also do this. Smothered a few dubious-looking, overly excited Zombies in dark blue, as if they were watching a Jenna Jameson classic from the 1990s, then increased the midfield dominance by interfering with a furious, grizzly intent and dispersing opposition. finished off a respectable comeback with the traditional climb-and-clank-it-in opener.
TONIO IWATAO: 8 out of 10.The least preferred replacement from Sunday turns into the most anticipated addition on Wednesday. The midfield was steadied by positional knowledge, which demonstrated early on how to effectively contain dangerous situations on the edge of our box. Like a Japanese Peaky Blinder, he added a feeling of controlled fury and dark menace to a midfield that had occasionally been too light.
CALMAC: 6.5 out of 10.tremendous power with a tremendous deal of responsibility. Hence, with three points required, the skipper committed to the advanced role, which many people think he excels at.That is, Peter Grant and I. The architect received the most delightful surprise of the evening when, in the second half, a “good girl” gave him an early massage and a joyful conclusion as he skelped in the sixth with his final touch.
BUILDER: 8 out of 10.He will shake his head and then use it to shake them. No one is a bigger critic of him than the mirror, and even extreme good looks can lead to annoying self-dissatisfaction—not that any zombies have ever been in such a situation, mind you. The ugly ones. When the silken limbs eventually synchronized, it was Matty from the early season who scored goals, was silky, and won games.
YING – Yang-a-lang – 8.5/10 Despite his past lackluster performances, I felt that this boy had potential; tonight, he demonstrated his worth in a spectacular manner by using his trademark direct and wild wing-play to terrify the opposition. There are many people who can dance in the sand, and they frequently exude a sense of self-doubt. However, with the Yangster, this self-doubt seems more as an unquenchable drive to try something new and better—a confidence that distinguishes the exceptional from the mediocre. Hit some serious high notes tonight, and for that, they deserve extra credit and MOTM. After all, they defeated their rated Liverpool loanee, Daizen’s Xmas nullification, at Christmas.
DUNCAN IDAHO: 7.5 out of 10.I’m going to see Dune Part 2 this weekend; is he saving himself for that? No, I forgot, he’s dead in that. However, he is currently very much alive while sporting the Hoops; in fact, he has established a makeshift residence where people are welcoming him as though he were a long-lost rich brother who is near death. And He Don’t Stop, like a reverberation of better days. Sunday’s season-saving intervention and tonight’s skillfully executed killing goal will continue the upward trend. Then, in a fit of rebellious wrath, he tossed a rascal to the ground. Extra!
HA! LORD KATSUMOTO – 7/10 Like the Justin Beiber fanclub during a meet and greet, they would be giddy with pride if someone else had performed that turn and finish. After an incredible build-up, Daizen scores the game’s goal and appears to be delighted, but the crowd outside the stadium stares through the acid rain and questions if it contains LSD.
SUBS:
N/A – KILLER MUSHROOMHe arrives, flips off the creative valve, and wanders around until a large stop from a large Zombie haddie denies him a big goal. Not to worry, the little mhan can focus on regaining his motivation for the last stretch while Idaho scores. Just in time, a few matches versus his favorite cannon fodder are about to start.
NED KELLY: 7 out of 10.The boy is a fierce one! With his leg generally reserved for kicking fleeing horses, the outlaw nation unleashes a guided screamer that roars into the top corner. A moment of pure fantasy, realized from a distance of one yard for each year of his brief existence; precisely as he had envisioned it in the playground game at nursery school. Yesterday.
TIGER TONY – N/A – Left? once more? I recall having gone. It’s not correct. Correct?
There aren’t many more delightful crossbar caresses than that near-worldly one, according to Brian De – N/A. Not fortunate.
RAQUEL: Not availableThe away contingent swooned over the new glamour pin-up ghirl of the Dundee Discovery Expeditionary Force, who had just enough time in the park. As if witnessing electric lights hadn’t sufficiently astounded them.
THE SHNAKE: 8 out of 10.
“Well done, buddy. Well done, boy. Well done, boy. Well done, boy.
Well done, boy. Well done, boy. Well done, boy. Oh no, awful boys.
The boss finally returns to the basics after spending days dragging suffragettes out of the way of his Range Rover and having professional hand-wringers call for their execution because he misgender some BBC hack (though you’d think they’d have been happy, in a confusing way). Witches are familiar with this phrase, which is meant to be directed at you interloping BBC she/he/it/theys.
We finally got some amazing product out on the park tonight, and he killed it in the crucial portion of the game, just as the media had been speculating about him with a wooden cross. After that razzle-dazzle, no harsh criticism is necessary. Rinse and redo this now for Sunday.
Excellent guy
MIBBERY: 0 out of 10.Surprised. Just astonished. Leaving him as helpless as Allan Mac in front of numerous willing ladies. By halftime, the VAR monitor was available on eBay.
OVERALL: 8.5/10-Born out of my box by halftime, screw that. and lost the second game. Take the bored people out. A magnificent performance that transported us back in time to great memories of former triumphs. Magnificent seven demolition exactly when it was needed, increasing the gap between goals and the team’s confidence in an underperforming team that doesn’t have a lot of Bill Gates jizz.
By halftime, Classic Heiders & Volleys had won the game: three consecutive nods gave us a nine-point advantage in schoolyard points, and a single volley in the second half would have taken all of Dundee’s lunch money. I may or may not have made the mental comment that Sunday was crucial—read back, you nit-pickers; I can’t be bothered with that; do your own homework—but the carnage this evening may have supported that statement.
With pace and penetration that dismantled their opponents, who had come off the strength of an exceptional season thus far, the Bhoys settled into a title-winning groove. There were just too many references to the successes of the last few seasons in this game to ignore. And the expectation grows that in the final months ahead, we’ll witness a symphonic reenactment of those explosive rallies.
Or at least a couple of excellent cover versions to block out the terrible sounds of pan pipes, flutes, tin drums, and xylophones coming from The Travelling Williams (sorry, Roy Orbison and friends) across town.
We’re on tour, and our next show is live on Sunday at Diet Cousins Arena.
Now move forward.
Sandman
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